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Post by neverlandlostgirl on Jul 12, 2017 2:48:51 GMT
Please don't make me wake up. I don't want to leave this place yet. It's so calm and quiet, so peaceful and warm here. I don't want to go back to that other place. It hurts, it hurts too much to go back there to that other place. I don't want to see the sorrow, to feel the guilt or experience the pain that waits for me there. So please don't make me go.
However, even deep within her unconscious mind, she knew that her wish couldn't be granted. And so her mind slowly rose to consciousness and her eyes finally opened for good.
Anna slowly blinked her eyes but couldn't seem to recall anything in that moment. Her mind was still so sluggish that she couldn't remember where she was or what she was doing or why she was there. All she seemed able to pull from her mind in that moment was her name and a distant memory of something terrible...
She blinked once more into the soft, sterile light that bathed her before managing to turn her head by small degrees. She saw a room around her, as sterile and white as the lights. She saw blinking, beeping machines lined up against the walls, the railing of a bed that she seemed to be lying in, a glass doorway that seemed to look out onto another long, white hallway. Hesitantly, her mind managed to piece this information together. It took so long, her mind still so sluggish. However, eventually the pieces clicked together.
I'm... in a hospital.
Frowning ever so slightly, she tried to sit up within her bed. However, she had only barely moved when the aches and pains of her body finally registered. She closed her eyes and let out a low whimper at the deep hurt that seemed to fill her every muscle and bone and even her blood. For a time she simply didn't move, the ache too much for her to handle and the weakness that seemed to accompany it too overwhelming.
When she did finally open her eyes again, she didn't dare move. Instead, her eyes strayed back to the machines that lined up beside her bed and all seemed to be connected to some part of her body.
What's going on? What happened to me?
Suddenly, she saw a splash of bright color out of the corner of her eyes and immediately her sight fixated on it. It was a bag handing from one of the poles near her, a thin tube leading from the bottom of the bag to her inner arm. And the inside of the bag was a bright red.
For an unknown length of time, she stared with tired eyes up at the bag. Blood, it was blood. Even in her completely weakened state she knew that. So why was it the sight of it made her suddenly feel so anxious? Her mind was trying to pull some memory out of the jumbled mess her brain had become and yet some part of her, some deep instinct seemed terrified to let the memory show.
But why?
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Post by skyeknight on Jul 12, 2017 15:08:33 GMT
Axel had only stepped out to take care of some things. Check on the bar. Make sure his temporary bartender hadn't burned the place down. Check stock and inventory of the bar. Reorder supplies on things that were running low. Get a shower because he had literally trudged out into the bayou for Anna. He had stopped at the cafeteria for a cheap coffee (not as good as Nevermore) and a stale bagel, but it was better than nothing. Otherwise, he hadn't left the hospital since Anna was admitted. He was there when visiting hours opened and left only when the nurse forced him out. He couldn't stay the night because he wasn't next of kin or even on her emergency contact list.
When he came back, he was surprised to find Anna awake but no less relieved. He took a deep breath before entering the room. Probably best to let the chips fall where they may. He was quiet, trying his best not to alarm her, because he didn't know where her state of mind was. He didn't even know what she was thinking at the moment. For all they new, the serum radically changed her for good and the sweet human he knew, was lost. He didn't want that.
"Morning sleeping beauty. If I knew you'd be up, I'd have brought you a coffee too." he teased.
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Post by neverlandlostgirl on Jul 12, 2017 19:22:57 GMT
Anna was still staring up silently at the bag of blood when she heard a door open and a voice speak. She recognized the voice.
Slowly, she turned her gaze from the IV pole to the figure that had entered the room, a coffee steaming in one hand and a bagel in the other. She looked at him, taking in the spikey red hair, the deep green eyes, the slender yet powerful build of his body. However, it was several long moments before she finally opened her mouth and spoke his name.
"Axel."
Hearing her voice took Anna by surprise. It was low and rough, sounding almost raw to her ears. It was also very weak. She didn't know it in that moment, but her voice matched very much with how she looked as well. Laying in the bed, her figure was so thin and her skin was incredibly pale, almost as pale as the hospital gown she wore. Deep bruise-colored skin surrounded her eyes giving them a sunken look and although color was slowly returning to her hair, it was still more white then strawberry blonde.
She looked like someone who had stood on the brink of death. And indeed she had even if she didn't know it then.
Slowly, the small frown returned to her face as she looked at the Fire Demon. Why was he here? And why did the sight of him suddenly make her feel even more anxious? She could sense some memory lurking just below her conscious mind, threatening to break through at any moment.
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Post by skyeknight on Jul 13, 2017 14:21:10 GMT
She wasn't yelling at him, so that could only be a good thing. He walked into the room where he took up the chair that he had been keeping his vigil. He set his coffee and his bagel down. She still looked weak, horribly ill even, but she looked better than she had when he had first got his hands on her in the bayou. And at least she was clean, no mysterious gunk on her, no blood, no leaves, twigs and mud. She was alive. She was getting better. Those were the only things that mattered in Axel's book, but he was certain this was going to have emotional repercussions. Anna had attacked people, hurt them severely. He only hoped she didn't remember doing it.
"Take it easy now," he coaxed gently. "You've been through a lot the last few days."
He had temporarily hired a new bartender to mind the bar while he was away. He couldn't close the bar down, his workers needed the income and while he didn't like how this temporary bartender worked, he served drinks well enough not to chase off his regulars and business was still moving forward. He used the time to do everything he could to make sure things were settled with this little serum fiasco. He was almost afraid Sunshine and Dorian would press charges. They had every right to. They had been harmed severely by what Anna had become when she was on that serum. It was Axel's fault. He pushed her into a corner where she felt she had no choice but to test it on herself. He knew she was sick, but hadn't forced her to see a doctor before things got too bad. If he hadn't done any of those things, none of this would have happened.
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Post by neverlandlostgirl on Jul 13, 2017 15:18:10 GMT
"Why....why am I in the hospital?"
She felt so confused, confused and anxious as she lay in her bed and tried to recall what had happened. Slowly the memories began to unfold in her mind's eye. Her idea to create a serum that would give humans Other abilities. Weiss and Dorian finding out about it but keeping silent on her experiment. Telling Axel about it and the fight that had ensued.... and then Axel and Shadow destroying her work right on the cusp of her success.
The frown deepened on her face as the memories began to come faster and faster. Her anger and despair. Finding the last of her serum. Injecting herself with it. Starting to feel sick. Getting into another fight with Axel. A promise to go see a doctor. Going into work at the BPD but feeling so terribly ill. However, the last thing she could remember clearly was being in the forensic labs with Dorian beside her as Sunshine entered the room. She had felt an immense rage, an anger that seemed simply too big and would cause her to explode and then.....
Anna closed her eyes and lightly shook her head. Everything after that was so vague. She knew the memories were there and yet they seemed so distorted, almost to the point where she couldn't even recognize them as her own memories. She reached up to rub the side of her head, but something stopped her from raising her arm completely.
She opened her eyes and looked at her arm to see what was stopping her. Wrapped around her wrist was a fabric cuff connected to a length of material tied to the railing of her bed. She stared at the thing tying her down blankly for a moment before trying to pull it off with her other hand. However, this arm too jerked to a stop and when she looked down at her other wrist, it wore the same strange cuff. After another dazed moment staring between her two arms, she was able to put a name to what was holding her down.
Restraints. These are restraints.
"Why am I tied down?"
She pulled weakly at the cuffs as she looked back at Axel. Now the anxiety inside of her was mounting, building up inside of her and making her heartbeat start to grow faster as indicated by the machines hooked up to her.
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Post by skyeknight on Jul 13, 2017 18:48:27 GMT
"Anna, you need to calm down or they're going to come in here and sedate you again." Axel said.
Her heart rate monitor was starting to sky rocket. Perhaps being the first person she saw when she woke up was not the best thing for her, but at the same time, he didn't want to leave her alone to the face of a stranger after the ordeal she had gone through. Though, now that she was panicking, it seemed like no matter what he did he was going to screw this up. He took a deep breath, reaching out and putting a hand on her arm so she would stop struggling. The more she struggled the more things would get worse. The restraints were not his idea. The hospital staff had just been afraid when the feral girl had brought in. But no one listened to the demon. Why would they?
"What is the last thing you remember?" he asked.
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Post by neverlandlostgirl on Jul 14, 2017 6:46:55 GMT
Anna might have continued to struggle against the restraints until a nurse came in and was forced to give her a sedative. However, when she felt a warm hand on her arm her weak fight against the fabric bands lessened and she looked up into Axel's face. She hadn't noticed it before but he looked somewhat wary and tired, like he hadn't gotten a good night's sleep for several days. When he asked what she could remember, she didn't immediately answer.
And when she did, it was with a great deal of hesitance.
"Remember? I remember... I was in the forensic labs... at the BPD. I was feeling sick.... like really, really sick. I had a doctor's appointment for the next day but... I had a headache that wouldn't stop no matter what I did. Dorian was with me.... he was concerned about something, me I think.... he was asking me questions... And then Sunshine came into the lab for a report or something.... and I suddenly felt mad. Like angrier then I've ever felt in my life and my head felt like it was splitting open and I... I..."
Suddenly, Anna inhaled sharply as the memories that she had been struggling to recall cleared in her mind. And she remembered.... She remembered what had happened.
Her eyes widened until they seemed to take up half of her face. She stared at Axel as the heart monitor began to beep wildly, every muscle in her body tensing at the realization of what she had done. And despite the quick and shallow breaths she was taking, she managed to speak.
"I attacked them both. I... I hurt them..."
She stared into Axel's face for one second, two... and then her expression shattered into a million shards and she broke down into wild sobs.
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Post by skyeknight on Jul 14, 2017 13:40:11 GMT
He had hoped she wouldn't remember. She would have been better off not remembering what she had done. Seeing her cry cut him, deeper than he would care to admit. It only proved to him how fast she had managed to worm her way into his life and into his heart. He didn't hesitate to sit on the side of her bed and wrap an arm around her as she cried. He knew Anna would never hurt anyone intentionally. That just wasn't her. She was a kind, gentle being. Knowing she hurt someone, even if she wasn't quite in the right state of mind was like an agony to her he wouldn't wish on anyone.
"Hey," Axel chided, "It's okay. They're... alive."
Oh, that was a bad choice of words. Granted, he was terrible at this consoling stuff. He was better when people were drunk, now that was his element, not raw emotional hurt like Anna's. But he certainly couldn't say they were okay. He didn't know Sunshine's condition, but Dorian was permanently blinded and his wings had been burnt. The wings might heal. But faeries were very sensitive about their appearance because they were naturally beautiful beings. Hopefully, that didn't put a wrench in Dorian and Anna's friendship. Or that the faery didn't decide to be spiteful about it and do something awful to the young woman. Axel would really hate to light the guy on fire.
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Post by neverlandlostgirl on Jul 14, 2017 15:20:40 GMT
The only good thing about Anna's current condition was that she couldn't work herself into full-blown hysterics. She was simply too tired and weak for that. However, that didn't stop her from sobbing as the guilt and self-loathing washed over her and threatened to drown her. Tears coursed down her cheeks, her face was filled with a sorrow that seemed endless and she couldn't even form coherent words as she cried.
And when Axel suddenly came to her bedside and put his strong, warm arms around her, she couldn't even reach up to wrap her own arms around him. Nonetheless, she buried her face in the hollow of his shoulder and gave herself over to her grief. It had all come back to her now and as the images of what she had done, the thing she had become, flashed across her mind she hated herself.
"Y-you were r-right, Axel. Y-you were ri-right!"
The broken words were spoken into his shoulder as the hot tears continued to fall from her, muffled by the fabric of his shirt but still understandable.
"I-I turned myself int-to a.... a MONSTER!"
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Post by skyeknight on Jul 14, 2017 17:52:43 GMT
"You're not a monster," he said. "You didn't do this on purpose. You didn't know the serum would do that to you."
And she hadn't. She never would have taken the serum if she knew what it would do to him. He only knew that as an Other, the Sapien that Grey Dawn had pushed around, was frightening. A human would have viewed Anna's serum the same way. Except any Grey Dawn stragglers might have tried to kill her for it. She thought she had been doing something good. Maybe, someday she could figure out a way to only give genetic healing properties and powers to humans. But today was not that day.
"No one could have seen this coming."
Except for maybe a clairvoyant but those were surprisingly quiet and extremely rare. He smoothed a hand through her unbraided hair. As much as he didn't like it, he had expected the tears. Getting his shirt wet was the least of his concerns. He just wanted to make sure she was okay. Healthy anyways. The happy part, he could work on later. Once she was cleared by the hospital.
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Post by neverlandlostgirl on Jul 15, 2017 6:45:13 GMT
"Y-you tried to w-warn me. And I-I di-din't listen!"
Although the sobs were weakening, she continued to weep softly on Axel's shoulder. How he could even bare to come near her after the way she had treated him, after what she had said and the things she had done, she didn't know. All Anna knew in that moment was it felt as if a huge and bottomless chasm was opening up inside of her, a black hole that ate away at her heart and soul.
In that instant, Anna's spirit cracked and the perpetually optimistic, upbeat and sweet young woman was gone. All that was left was the merest shadow of what she had been, a broken and sorrowful creature.
Eventually even her soft weeping came to an end but the tears continued to course silently down her cheeks and she had begun to shiver nonstop. Even with Axel's warm arm around her, her body couldn't seem to stop shaking ever so slightly as if she were freezing.
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Post by skyeknight on Jul 16, 2017 4:04:27 GMT
"Anna," he said softly. "You thought you were doing the right thing. We can't change what happened, but only make sure things are better next time."
He wasn't sure if Anna would ever forgive herself for what she did. She sobbed herself dry, until she was shuddering and shivering in his arms. He could try to burn a little warmer, to heat her up, but that wasn't going to ward off the chill inside of her. So he reached over and picked up his coffee. He brought it back around, carefully and held it up for Anna to take. He could get more later. Plus, he would likely get scolded by the nurses for even giving Anna that, but she needed something in her that was warm.
"Here, drink this," he said.
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Post by neverlandlostgirl on Jul 16, 2017 23:21:16 GMT
Thankfully the restraints weren't so tight she couldn't accept the drink Axel offered. She took the cup into her hands and managed to take a small sip but she couldn't taste much of anything in that moment. Anna merely held the coffee in her hands and stared at it with sad, swollen eyes as a stray tear fell occasionally to land on the blankets that covered her lower body.
"Axel...why are you here?"
She spoke the words softly but didn't look up at the Fire Demon as she spoke. She couldn't seem to find the energy to even lift her face up a few inches and instead continued to stare at the Styrofoam cup she was holding.
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Post by skyeknight on Jul 17, 2017 2:17:07 GMT
"I tried to make you stop your research. I begged you to get yourself looked at when you were getting sick. I just chased your little butt into the bayou. I fought to cure you and you're wondering why I'm here?" he asked. "I thought it would have been obvious by now."
His poor helpless little human. She truly was oblivious. Though, it was cute, he supposed, that she required verbal reassurances. Actions did not speak louder than words for her, but then again, humans did love to hear each other talk affectionately. He didn't do these sort of things for just anyone. He might have helped, if he could to help someone else, but this was Anna. The human who somehow managed to worm her way into a heart he thought was nothing but ash. As infuriated as she made him, she made him care for the first time in ages.
"Everything I've done these last few weeks have been for you." he said. "Why do you think that is?"
Axel pulled her blankets up to cover her a little more. The hospital had the air conditioning running as if it were on fire outside. No wonder she was cold. But it could have been contributed to something else. Still, Axel made his body temperature rise just a little, to act as a sort of personal demon blanket for the young woman.
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Post by neverlandlostgirl on Jul 17, 2017 5:43:50 GMT
The thing was, Anna did know. Ever since the dinner with Axel at her place, she had started to think that maybe he liked her as more then just a friend. And the time they had spent together after that had only strengthened this belief. She herself had been somewhat uncertain about what she felt towards the Demon but she couldn't deny that every time she walked into the bar and saw him standing behind the counter, that half-smile on his lips and his green eyes sparking with a hint of mischief, she had felt happy....
At least until she had been possessed by her idea to create the serum. Then everything had gone so bad so quickly. When she'd revealed all her hopes for the serum to him, he had tried to warn her of the huge danger it posed to her and everyone else. And what had she done? Gotten hurt and lashed out, refusing to heed his warning. And when he once again tried to protect her by coming to the BPD with Shadow.... she'd refused to listen to reason. She had said such horrible and biting things to him and then, when she had given him no other choice but to destroy her work, she had acted in reckless, hate-filled rage and injected herself with the last of her serum.
And ever after all of that, he had still done his damnest to save her. He'd tracked her down and faced her when she hadn't even been human anymore.
Indeed, all of his actions up to that point confirmed what she had only guessed at since that dinner not so long ago...
But now it just hurt. And it hurt because after all the horrible things she had said and done, she didn't deserve his kindness, his friendship..... his affection. She simply didn't deserve someone like Axel.
"Please, Axel.... Please don't say it."
Even now, she couldn't bare to look him in the eyes and continued to stare at the stark cup she was clutching. She felt her eyes tearing up again but nothing fell from them. She simply had no more tears left to shed yet she didn't want to hear the Fire Demon speak those words. They were words better suited to another young woman, not someone who had turned themselves into a monster...
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