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Post by angelofmusic1992 on May 9, 2017 16:30:39 GMT
It looked like Yang had finally said something that made Pitch visibly react, even if it was slightly. His response was short, almost brusque. Some might have just left it at there, but Yang's curiosity got the better of her. "Why would he want them gone?" she asked. "Were his memories really so painful that he..." Her voice trailed off, realizing that that was a stupid question to ask. She should know better than anyone that painful memories were no fun to deal with, and Shadow's were very painful. He had lost Maria, someone he really cared about. He had promised to protect her, and failed. Anyone would want a memory like that to just vanish. Yang herself had plenty of memories she hated to remember. The night her parents died, Cinder's attempt to kill her, Thrax slicing off her arm...no matter how much she tried not to think about them, they always came back. The question was: Did she hate those memories so much that she wanted them gone? If Pitch was able to get rid of them, would she want that?
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Post by neverlandlostgirl on May 10, 2017 2:14:21 GMT
Pitch didn't immediately respond to Yang as she spoke but when she paused in asking her question, he let his intense yellow gaze run over her in that instant.
"You already know the answer to that."
His voice was neither harsh nor condescending but in its depths was also the barest trace of a warning. The smallest of breezes picked up in that instant, causing the trailing branches of the tree to gently rustle. Otherwise, nothing else moved in that moment.
"Shadow desperately yearned for a new beginning and so I gave it to him. However, even though memories may be washed away and minds made to forget, their traces still linger in the soul."
His eyes continued to look down at Yang, unwavering and powerful. He had a very good idea what the young woman was thinking about within those moments of silence and hoped she was wise enough to not ask for what Shadow had desired. It might seem like a gift to begin with, but in the end it would only turn into a curse.
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Post by angelofmusic1992 on May 10, 2017 2:51:53 GMT
Yang gave a sigh. It seemed like magic was never as simple as it seemed. Some people seemed to think it could just take away all your problems. If could help you forget a painful memory, get stronger, alter the past. But doing stuff like that was never simple, and always came with a price. Getting his memories back had left Shadow shaken, and he had doubted everyone around him for a time. Yang was already depressed enough as it was. She didn't want to think about how low she would get if she regained memories that she'd lost. She'd probably feel the same as Shadow: angry and betrayed. "Guess it's a dumb thing to wish for, huh?" she said. "Erased memories can't...make things come back." Shadow may have lost his memories, but that didn't change the fact that Maria was gone. And if Yang had her memories taken away, it wouldn't make her arm come back. That much could never change.
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Post by neverlandlostgirl on May 11, 2017 4:35:00 GMT
"Dumb? No, I wouldn't call it that."
Pitch's tone didn't really change but his voice grew more quiet as he stood before the young woman who had lost so much.
"Everyone has a time in their life they wish they could forget. And it is far easier to lose painful memories then live with them. However, if one is to ever truly move beyond that moment in their life, they must learn from it. And if one is to learn, one must remember. I think there is even a human quote about such a thing."
He paused, unable to recall exactly what that quote was.
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Post by angelofmusic1992 on May 11, 2017 16:27:01 GMT
Pitch's voice was quieter, and if Yang was honest, she'd admit that what he said made sense. If she was to move on from this, she couldn't lose her memories of what had happened. But remembering was hard, as was moving on. Sometimes, she wondered if she was making any progress at all. She felt like she was stuck, and wasn't sure how to keep moving. Her doctors had plenty of meds to give her and therapeutic stuff to try, but Yang wondered what would happen once she exhausted all their options. She could only be like this for so long, right? What if this was as far as she could get? She shook the thought away. She didn't want to start having another existential crisis right now. However, what Pitch said made her ask something. "Is there anything you ever wished you could forget?" she asked.
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Post by neverlandlostgirl on May 12, 2017 0:15:06 GMT
"Those who fail to learn from the past are doomed to repeat it."
The quote had finally come back to Pitch and it seemed in that moment it was his response to Yang's question, as if it said it all. However, after several more moments of a deep a slightly uncomfortable silence, he answered more fully.
"Yes, but I learned long ago you cannot solve your problems by forgetting them."
Suddenly he turned and began to walk at a slow and sedate pace down a nearby track, slow enough that Yang could follow if she so desired.
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Post by angelofmusic1992 on May 12, 2017 0:40:36 GMT
Yang wasn't about to press for details. Pitch's answer was satisfactory enough. It seemed that even the toughest demon around had things he'd rather forget. When he started walking, she followed him, figuring that talking with him was better than going home right now. Her paranoid could act up sometimes, when she felt alone. But, it could do the same when she was around people. She often felt she was stuck between a rock and a hard place when it came to that issue. Being around others made her anxious sometimes, but so did being alone. The only time she ever felt close to being safe was when she was with Adrien. There was silence between her and Pitch for a moment, before a thought occurred to her and she gave a little chuckle. "It's funny. Months ago, whenever I thought of you, I'd get scared shit-less," she said. "And now here we are." She never expected her and Pitch to get on somewhat decent terms, let alone be able to have a civil conversation. It seemed like that was yet another thing that had changed about her.
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Post by neverlandlostgirl on May 14, 2017 22:02:59 GMT
"Things have changed...."
Pitch didn't elaborate nor felt the need to and merely continued to walk slowly along, allowing his mind to relax as much as it could while still remaining in contact with the Nightmares situated all over the city. Indeed, a great many things had changed in Bellerouge and he was far from excluded from that assessment.
Not so long ago he had been a true follower of Disparion, a cold, emotionless being who spread and fed on the fears of all thinking beings. Not so long ago he had been a true Terror Demon. Even now, no one except the BPD Commissioner knew that Pitch Black was indeed the "Boogey Man," one of the most feared, reviled and dangerous criminals ever to come to Bellerouge. At least he had been....
Now everything seemed to had turned upsidedown He had rebelled against Disparion, had given up his criminal past for a place on the Bellerouge Police Force, and most shocking of all, he had let emotion into his life.
Yes, things really did change.
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Post by angelofmusic1992 on May 14, 2017 23:07:08 GMT
Pitch pretty much agreed with what Yang said. She glanced at him before asking "Have things changed for you too?" He did seem a little different, although Yang couldn't put her finger on what exactly it was. Regardless, Pitch was easier to talk to than he used to be, and she was grateful for that. He didn't say much, but she felt like she could say whatever was on her mind. Well, mostly anything. Her feelings for Adrien were still a secret to everyone. Even Jane thought she was in love with Chat Noir, not knowing that he and Adrien were the same person. Not even Adrien knew himself, even though Yang felt like they weren't exactly acting like friends anymore. Then again, they weren't really lovers either. It was a weird in-between phase that neither of them knew how to address.
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Post by neverlandlostgirl on May 14, 2017 23:45:25 GMT
Pitch paused in mid-stride and turned to look at Yang, his hands loosely clasped behind his back. The look on his face was one of mild surprise, as if the question had taken him aback every so slightly.
"I should think that would be obvious."
There was no scorn or sarcasm in his response. It was a straight-forward response and he thought the answer would be clear enough for all to see. Then again, he and Yang had only spoken on two occasions before this, the one time when he let her escape arrest and the one time he had saved her life from drowning. There wasn't really an opportunity during those times to build up a relationship or get to know each other, at least not on any deep level.
And even now, when he felt as if he were letting his new emotions control every aspect of his life, almost every person who met him still perceived him as emotionally dead. He might be expressing feelings now, but that didn't mean people could pick up on them.
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Post by angelofmusic1992 on May 15, 2017 0:01:52 GMT
Yang laughed. "Well, besides with me." Their relationship had changed, but was anything else different? Shadow had never really talked about Pitch much before their falling-out, so Yang wasn't sure what their relationship was like before that. Everyone else she knew either didn't know Pitch or just didn't know a whole lot about it. Sunshine never mentioned him, or Aqua, or Anna. It made Yang wonder how solitary the guy was. Normally, she wouldn't picture demons as having friends, but Shadow had proved the opposite to be true. Then again, Shadow wasn't like most demons she knew. Whether that was just his personality, or it was because he had no memory of his demon heritage, was up for debate. Still, even the most evil creatures had relationships with others, even if it was only to gain something for themselves.
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Post by neverlandlostgirl on May 15, 2017 21:02:57 GMT
"Then yes. I have changed as well."
The words were spoke quietly, his gaze cast towards the sky. Some might want to argue the point, but the truth was as simple as his response. He HAD changed, although he couldn't always tell in what ways. He knew he was still a Terror Demon, that he still used his powers to spread fear and that most people feared him. However, now he only used his powers against criminals and despite the general public still being terrified of him for the most part, others had lost such fears. He could sense it in them.
And it unnerved him. For centuries before, he had remained the same with no reason or cause to change. Now everything was shifting ever so slightly so that nothing was quite the way it had been before. And it had all started with a young boy he had saved and then, years later, watched die.
"It seems this city can't help but make people change."
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Post by angelofmusic1992 on May 15, 2017 22:23:09 GMT
"Yeah," Yang said in agreement. "And it seems like you can't tell whether it's good or bad until it's too late." She glanced at her right arm as she spoke. Losing it had changed everything, but was it good or bad? On the surface, yeah, it was bad. Losing it had been a huge physical blow, and a mental one as well. Yang's confidence had been shattered, her flame sizzled out. The past pained her and the future frightened her. And the present wasn't so great to deal with either. But some people had come out of experiences like these and found some meaning in it, something that had helped them become better. Yang wasn't sure if she'd reach that point. What life-changing lesson was she supposed to take away from this? All she had learned was that she was a reckless hothead and that she screwed things up whenever she tried to help. If someone had wanted her to learn that lesson, they could have taught her without taking her arm away. At least, that was how she felt.
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Post by neverlandlostgirl on May 17, 2017 7:50:09 GMT
"Yes, but things can only be as good or bad as you let them be."
He came to a stop on the tallest hill within the park and turned towards the distant outline of the city. In a city known for being very flat, the hill was just tall enough so that the surrounding buildings and structures, the roads and landmarks that made up Bellerouge, could be seen. And despite the reddish hue the sky always cast over the city ever since the Black Wars, it was still beautiful.
"We may not have much choice in what life will bring our way, but we can choose how we let it effect us. We can choose to let it destroy us or let it make us stronger or do nothing at all."
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Post by angelofmusic1992 on May 17, 2017 17:05:34 GMT
Yang knew what Pitch was driving at. She could only let the loss of her arm stop her if she chose that. She could rise above it if she wanted to. But that was easier said than done. These days, it felt like she still had the iron ball chained around her ankle, and she was stuck at the bottom of the river. Wanting to rise above would do her no good as long as that was weighing her down. There were only two options: cutting it off entirely, or becoming strong enough to swim to the surface with it. And Yang felt like the former wasn't an option. This was a part of her, as much as she didn't want it to be. But trying to swim with all that weight holding her down seemed impossible. "Doing nothing almost seems easiest, when the fire's out," she said, more to herself than Pitch. And she wasn't talking about just her fire powers, although those had certainly suffered a set-back. Her friends had remarked more than once how her fiery spirit seemed to be put out. They were confident that it would return in due time, but Yang wasn't sure. She didn't know how she could go back to how she used to be, with all these negative emotions and memories weighing her down.
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