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Post by neverlandlostgirl on Aug 5, 2017 7:35:25 GMT
In the Bellerouge Police Department, the door into the Commissioner's office opened slowly and a single figure stepped out into the hallway, their eyes downcast and a deep sense of sorrow and guilt lingering about them.
"Consider yourself very lucky, Miss Castille. Your perfect record up to this point is the main reason you are still with us. That and no one pressed any criminal charges against you. However, given the severity of what you have done you will be kept under close surveillance and your access to resources limited. Step out of line in any way and you will immediately be removed as medical examiner from the BPD. Understood?"
Anna nodded her head slowly, the motion causing the single streak of pure white in her strawberry blonde hair to catch the overhead light and flash. Even though it had been nearly three weeks since her discharge from the hospital, she still looked far too pale and weak. And that was nothing in comparison to the transformation her character had undergone. She didn't look up once from the ground as the Commissioner spoke and only moved when he had finally closed the door of his office.
She blinked slowly, her hands clasped meekly in front of her and her head hanging before turning and making her way down to the medical labs. The only time when she lifted her head was when she had stepped into the all too familiar space and saw something new. From the corner of her eye, she spotted it high up in the corners of each wall. Security cameras. Of course, they would want to make sure she wasn't using the equipment and chemicals for her own purposes.
That was too little too late, however.
She stared at the large lens of the camera jus to her right, looking up at it and thinking that it reminded her of a large and unblinking eye. When she finally looked away, it was to move to the desk she had been sitting at since joining the police department. Yet there was no music now, no pictures on the wall above the desk and no collection of rubber ducks lined up along the edge. They had been removed and sent to her when the crime scene examiners had finished with them. And now they sat at her apartment in a cardboard box.
She sat down slowly in the chair but didn't move from the spot. For a time all she could do was look down at the surface of the desk, a deep guilt making her feel as if she were drowning and sorrow making it almost impossible to move it seemed.
The only comfort she felt at all in that moment was the simple fact that she hadn't run into any of the people she had hurt..... but she knew that couldn't last. Sooner or later, and probably sooner, she would see them.
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Post by Deleted on Aug 18, 2017 5:19:32 GMT
Shiro was not normally one to visit the ME's office but he thought maybe with all the craziness going on they may know where to find this Shadow person. However when he finally came upon her she looked well lost in her own issues. "Miss are you okay?" he asked compassion and the need to help this poor woman who obviously was hurting filling his soul. His steel gray eyes soft as he placed his non metallic hand on her shoulder gently.
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Post by neverlandlostgirl on Aug 19, 2017 10:24:43 GMT
Anna was so overwhelmed and melancholy that she didn't even hear the door into the labs or see the figure standing on the threshold. She might have not even noticed him at all if the man hadn't approached her, speaking in a soft voice while placing a hand on her shoulder.
She was still somewhat on edge after the incident with the serum and jerked in a mixture of surprise and fear upon feeling the hand on her. Without thinking, she pushed slightly away from the touch as her heartbeat sped up. However, when her eyes landed on unfamiliar figure she forced herself to take deep breaths and calm down.
Anna had once prided herself on knowing everyone who worked at the BPD, from the Others detectives she counted as friends to the custodians who emptied the trash cans. However, she didn't know this man at all. He was taller then her and physically fit with short hair that was brown at the back but white at the front were the bangs hung in his face. His eyes were a deep grey and across the bridge of his nose ran a scar.
The young medical examiner blinked up at this strange face several times before processing the question he had asked. Even then it took her another moment or so to find her voice and respond.
"I've been better...."
She dropped her gaze to the tiled floor. Despite him being a stranger, she had recognized the look of mild worry and compassion in his eyes and she couldn't bare looking at that kindly expression.
"Were you looking for something?"
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Post by Deleted on Aug 19, 2017 20:22:49 GMT
Shiro knew that reaction a little too well so he back up a little bit so she could have some personal space. "I am sorry... I was trying to find the Other's Unit so I could talk to Detective Shadow but I wasn't sure where he was.... so I can here." he says rubbing the back of his head. "I am Shiro one of the EMTs for our hospital...."
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Post by neverlandlostgirl on Aug 21, 2017 4:41:56 GMT
"Anna."
She said this so quietly that she wasn't certain the man, Shiro, even heard her response. And while she was sinking into a deep and seemingly endless depression, she wasn't so far gone that she had forgotten basic manners.
With an effort, she forced her head upward and looked into the new EMT's face. She tried for a smile, but it was a sad thing compared to the lovely and beaming grins she had once given. It was the smile of heartbreak.
"I'm Anna. Medical examiner for the BPD....at least for the time being."
At this she gave a tiny laugh, although there was no humor in the sound and only a deep hurt.
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Post by Deleted on Aug 21, 2017 5:10:28 GMT
Shiro gave her a bright smile of his own leaving laying dogs lie as it were as he barely knew the woman and didn't wish to intrude. "Could you... perhaps help me find Detective Shadow? I get a bit lost around here used to just talking with you guys at he scene versus coming here in person." he asks politely makng sure his body language is of the softer gentler variety seeing how he spooked her earlier he didn't want to make it worse.
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Post by neverlandlostgirl on Aug 22, 2017 5:54:55 GMT
"Shadow?"
Immediately her whole body stiffened and the half-hearted attempt at a smile fell from her face to be replaced by sorrow mixed with just a hint of fear. Shadow was one of the last people in that instant that she wanted to see. She didn't want to even imagine let alone see firsthand how he would react should the two of them encounter each other after her rampage as a maddened semi-Other.
"I don't think he's in today."
That wasn't exactly true. One of the reasons she had finally come back into the department to speak to the Commissioner was because she KNEW he wasn't going to be at the BPD that day. Neither would Sunshine or Dorain. If any of them had been at work that day, she would have refused to step foot inside the building. It had been hard enough speaking to the Commissioner about what had happened and the consequences of her actions, she simply couldn't bare to face the people she had directly hurt.
"You'll probably have to talk to him tomorrow."
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Post by Deleted on Aug 22, 2017 22:14:11 GMT
Shiro nods gently at the woman before speaking his eyes still that soft and compassionate gaze. "Then I will come back tomorrow... Do you need a cup of tea or something?" he asks concern laced through his voice. Shiro's natural need to help those he saw hurting was sometimes a blessing and ca curse as sometimes people would out right demand he leave them alone to wallow but he had to try.
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Post by neverlandlostgirl on Aug 25, 2017 3:43:37 GMT
Anna opened her mouth to say no but the word suddenly died on her lips and she shut her mouth with a small snap. Even if she was feeling extremely low and awful in that moment, it didn't make it ok for her to be cold and unfriendly towards Shiro. After all, he was new and probably didn't know anyone in the BPD very well yet. It would be wrong to give him a bad impression right off the bat just because she herself felt so horrible.
With these thoughts running across her mind in a flash, she opened her mouth once more to speak.
"Yes, thank you."
She dropped her gaze back to her lap, aware that her voice had steadily gotten quieter. Anyone who could hear and see would be able to tell that she was upset, but she didn't want any kind of attention drawn to herself even if it came from a sympathetic and kind place. She simply felt like she didn't deserve it.
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Post by Deleted on Sept 12, 2017 18:57:04 GMT
Shiro gives her a warm smile again "I'll be right back then alright?" he says softly as he goes to find the coffee machine around there and got her some tea. "I won't push about whats wrong but you should talk to someone about it.." he says softly handing her the steaming cup. "I know its easier to say and harder to do... but keeping it all locked up is going to do some awful stuff to your immune system and practically everything else."
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Post by neverlandlostgirl on Sept 14, 2017 5:24:28 GMT
Anna only gave a small nod as the man left the room. Part of her hoped that he simply wouldn't come back and yet another part wanted so badly to talk to someone, anyone who might understand. However, she knew she could never work up the courage to speak to one of the people she had hurt. At least not right now. Perhaps it would be better to speak to someone like Shiro, someone she had never met before.
Soon enough he had returned with a steaming cup of tea that he handed to her. She took the cup and cradled it in her hands but didn't drink from it. Instead, she watched the wisps of steam coming off the hot liquid until they disappeared into the surrounding air.
"I know that."
Despite not looking at the EMT, she had been listening to what he was saying. However, she wasn't sure how to even begin with what had happened and there was no way to tell how he might react to what she had done, what she was going through.
"I just.... I don't even know how to start with everything that's happened. It's just.... too much to put into words."
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Post by Deleted on Sept 22, 2017 19:08:40 GMT
"Maybe start at the beginning and go slow and if you need to take breaks that's fine too I'm off for the rest of the day so I have time." he says with a soft comforting smile "I know how difficult it can be to talk about this kinda thing to people but sometimes just talking to someone can ease a bit of the tension not everything but at least a little.". Pulling up one of the chairs closer to her he sits and listens if she cared to tell him what was happening.
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Post by neverlandlostgirl on Oct 4, 2017 2:43:25 GMT
Anna kept her head down and continued to stare at the cup in her hands, her thumbs lightly stroking the plastic container as she tried to find her voice and some way to explain to this man what had lead her to this point. It took a long time. And she didn't break the silence until the last wisps of steam from her tea had disappeared.
"I suppose it all started because.... because I wanted to help people. It was after another of those Demon attacks that seem too common here and I met someone who.... who lost their arm because of it. Seeing that, it made me want to do something. Like really DO something, something that would actually make a different so that things like that wouldn't happen again..."
Here she paused in her speaking, the sorrow in her voice almost palpable. She took a moment to sip at her rapidly cooling tea to try and cover the pause in her story.
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Post by Deleted on Oct 4, 2017 5:14:16 GMT
Shiro listens and sympathy for the young woman's plight as knowing he'd most likely do the same thing if it meant helping someone who needed it. "Take as long as you need I know this cant be easy for you..." he says sipping on his own tea. For him it was hard enough trying to figure out what happened to him and then learning about what happened to Yang some ways he understood her hesitance.
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Post by neverlandlostgirl on Oct 22, 2017 21:41:08 GMT
Anna didn't say anything in response to Shiro's words. In fact, she didn't say anything for a long time and merely sat in sorrowful silence as the last traces of heat disappeared from her barely touched tea. She just didn't know how to tell her story.
How did you tell someone how you became so obsessed with an idea to make the world better, you lost track of reality and pushed away those who were trying to help you see sense? How did you tell a stranger that when that dream, however unreal, seemed to have been stolen from you that you acted without thinking? How did you make someone understand that you allowed yourself be transformed into one of the very monsters that you were trying to protect others from?
The silence seemed to stretch into forever and Anna had just decided to tell Shiro that she really just didn't think there was anything more to say. However, when she opened her mouth it was as if a dam inside of her suddenly broke spectacularly and everything that had happened since beginning her dangerous experiments to waking up in the hospital after the others had saved her.
It took a long time for the flow of feelings to finally start to die off and when it did, Anna felt as if she were empty of something that had slowly been killing her.
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