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Post by Deleted on Feb 24, 2018 21:51:09 GMT
Moses moved to hug Vanitas tightly. He looked so discouraged. "I'm proud of you for getting a job" he said quietly. "But maybe we should learn more about each other so we don't accidentally hurt each other like this again, right? But that means you have to open up and...yea, I think I need to talk about my life too" Moses didn't feel comfortable talking about his life, with anyone. Because it meant admitting his mother was a lady of the night and his father took advantage of her. Then the abuse he went through at his aunt's...this was going to be hard. But he had to do it, for Vanitas.
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Post by skyeknight on Feb 24, 2018 22:37:27 GMT
Vanitas winced, despite being held in place by Moses. Talking about his past? He didn't do that. He had grown to see it as a weakness. Something that people would use against him and call him out for. Except even without him speaking about it, he was always angry over it. He didn't know how to put his experiences to words without drawing forth that anger. None of it was Moses' fault, but Vanitas was still angry about it.
"Why?" he asked.
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Post by Deleted on Feb 25, 2018 0:28:03 GMT
"So we grow together, as a couple, as people" Moses said, and looked at Vanitas. "I don't want to either, but I think it's time that we did so for each other. After all, we are together and we know virtually nothing about each other. That's hardly fair to either of us" he took a deep breath. "if you want, I can go first"
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Post by skyeknight on Feb 25, 2018 4:47:46 GMT
Vanitas grimaced. Being in a relationship was a lot more tedious than he thought. Couldn't they just focus on what was going on in that moment, instead of the past? Granted, Vanitas' past dogged him around, but Moses brought up an annoying point. In which he was right. They should know each other better. It was trust. Except Vanitas didn't give trust away so easily. Moses had to know he was asking a lot of him, if he volunteered to go first. Once again, thinking only of Vanitas' comfort with the situation.
"What do you think I should know?" he asked.
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Post by Deleted on Feb 26, 2018 3:33:14 GMT
"Probably everything, but I'll lay it in bit by bit over the next while so you don't get bored" Moses decided with a sigh. He smiled at Vanitas, more to reassure himself than anything else. "My mother was a whore" he said after a pause. He didn't know how to put it nicely. "My father seduced her wearing a human guise and promised her a comfortable home-if she bore him a child. That was me, that's my grand birth" he gave a mirthless laugh. "I was raised by my mother, who tried to love me, I see that now. When I was a kid I thought she did love me, but was always sad" he shrugged. "When I was nine she died, and I moved into a house that was very...antagonistic to anything with demonic bloodlines. My aunt and my step-father. So I ran away at twelve. I met Yang on the streets and we worked together sometimes to survive. But..." he shrugged. "Being a toxic demon, I like toxic things, I think, so I went in for a toxic job at sixteen or seventeen. Strip dancer at Mina. I was one of Cruella's more popular attractions, though I made it clear I wasn't sleeping with anyone" he sighed again and looked at Vanitas. "Anything else you want to know?"
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Post by skyeknight on Feb 26, 2018 16:39:52 GMT
Vanitas looked up at Moses. Why would he think that he would get bored? Just because he was normally apathetic due to his nature, it didn't mean he would have dismissed what Moses had to say. But even as he listened he felt a twinge of something uncomfortable. An emotion he didn't know that didn't settle well with him. Was that guilt? Anger on Moses' behalf? Shame? He knew his parents loved him, at least before they died. They had always said so. But what good did it do him if they had gotten killed?
"What about your... sire?" Vanitas asked. "Where is he now?"
It didn't feel right calling that 'man' Moses' father. He didn't have anything to do with him aside from creation. Vanitas didn't like the fact that Moses had to run away from his 'family'. He didn't have a choice in what he was. Even if he did suppress his demonic nature.
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Post by Deleted on Feb 26, 2018 18:13:45 GMT
"Hexxus? He works as a politician. At least he did the last time we had an actual near normal conversation. I think he has mistresses all over town, but I've never met any of them. He's just doing his own thing, and I do mine" Moses tugged Vanitas to sit beside him and wrapped an arm around him. "Most of our talks are about how I should join him in his home, learn to master my demonic side, have "suitable" lovers, that sort of thing. I think I rebelled because I want to be human, and I want a choice in who I love, and freedom to be myself"
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Post by skyeknight on Feb 26, 2018 21:44:07 GMT
Vanitas didn't try to push Moses away as he was pulled into a one armed hug. He didn't particularly do anything amid the category of cuddling but he was pretty sure this was time in which Moses needed some form of reassurance. His hand twitched. He knew he was supposed to do something at this point, like pull Moses in closer or hug him back but the brain to muscle messages seemed to die on the way there. He still felt conflicted about the whole thing, despite being at Moses' mercy more than once in bed.
"He can go fuck himself," Vanitas snarled. "He doesn't get a say. You're mine."
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Post by Deleted on Feb 26, 2018 23:02:02 GMT
Moses blinked and looked at Vanitas in surprise. The ferocity was unexpected, though given this was Vanitas they were talking about, his anger management could use some work if they were being honest. "I didn't realize you felt so strongly about us being together" he said, deliriously happy for some unexplainable reason. "I mean, I figured you liked me given you agreed to be my boyfriend, but...." But not this much sort of died on his tongue. It would be taken offensively, he just knew it. Moses rested his head on Van's shoulder. "Thank you" he said quietly.
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Post by skyeknight on Feb 27, 2018 4:12:15 GMT
Vanitas sighed. This is why he didn't want to talk about these things. Feelings were so... difficult to put to words. They tasted all wrong in his mouth, rolling off his tongue like something sharp and sickly sweet. But Moses hadn't really given him a choice to deny him. That was what Vanitas liked. Moses saw what he wanted (which was oddly Vanitas himself) and went after it. He didn't relent, even when discouraged against it. Even when he would have been smarter to move on.
"I don't do this fluffy shit." Vanitas groused. "But I care, damn it. I'm trying to make this work."
Vanitas wrinkled his nose, disliking even saying that. It felt too sweet, too thoughtful. He was trying to tell himself that this wasn't a sign of weakness and confessing all of his sins to Moses wasn't a sign he was soft like everyone was accusing him of being.
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Post by Deleted on Feb 27, 2018 21:06:11 GMT
"I know you are" Moses soothed. "I know you care. And I'm grateful, I'm just..surprised at how intense you seem to feel it" Vanitas seemed apathetic on the best of days at most. He had no idea what had happened to Vanitas to make him shove all his emotions down into himself, but he wanted to help. "I'm here for you when you're ready to talk, Van" he told him gently.
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Post by skyeknight on Feb 27, 2018 23:07:18 GMT
Vanitas winced. He didn't want to talk about these things. And yet he would be weak if he withheld things that Moses could talk about. Despite that he knew Moses wouldn't judge him. He was just afraid this would mean Moses would try and pity him or demean him. He still wasn't used to acceptance.
"Both my parents were demons." He sighed. "My dad was a lawyer. My mom was a doctor. For a while we were happy. Until a mob of anti-Other protestors decided to kill them for what they were. I was five."
They couldn't change their species to appease the humans. Vanitas' parents had been good people. They saved lives. They righted wrongs. Vanitas hadn't even realized he was different from other children until kids mocked him for his eyes. Beat him up. Called him a monster. His parents sat him down for a good long talk after they found out. They told him to be better than them. To be good and strong and everything they didn't think he was. Except after everything Vanitas had been through he didn't know how.
"I was dropped off at an orphanage. Only they were using it as a front so they could make a permanent Sapien." Vanitas said bitterly. "I was there for at least ten years until I broke out. I... killed everyone. The scientists and the kids."
He had seen it as an act of mercy for the other kids. Some of them were barely alive as it was. No one wanted a life where your very existence caused self agony. But for the scientists it had been vengeance. Making them suffer for what they did. All of them humans who had been trying to 'cure' them of their abnormalities. Those kids hadn't wanted cures. They wanted families. Lives with no pain. They wanted to be loved. Vanitas knew it was cruel of him to end those lives but he couldn't bear to see them suffer more than they had. Some of them looked so happy when he did it. Like he had freed them. That night was the last night he had ever cried. He had burned down that nightmare. Except from those ashes came Grey Dawn.
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Post by Deleted on Feb 28, 2018 18:02:36 GMT
The more Vanitas spoke the more Moses' eyes changed to black until finally he stood up and punched a wall, denting it. "It's a good thing you killed those scientists" he snarled. "Or I would have myself" his eyes flickered back to normal brown and he looked down. "I don't kill, but I think I would have, for you" he said a little sheepishly. He walked over to Vanitas and kneeled down to his level. "I'm glad you survived" he told him quietly. There were some parts that Moses was jealous of. Of Van's loving parents he was particularly jealous of. But if he hadn't gotten taken in by his aunt, he probably would have ended up dead by Vanitas' hand at that orphanage. "Do you want a hug, or would you consider that pity?" he asked.
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Post by skyeknight on Feb 28, 2018 18:46:30 GMT
Vanitas passively watched as Moses got worked up on his behalf, even punching the wall, leaving a rocky crater from his fist. Vanitas did not feel anything. He knew he should have felt remorse for what he did to the other children. He should have felt anger towards what had happened to him. He should have been appreciative of Moses' fury for what had happened to him. Instead he felt nothing. He stared up at his boyfriend quietly. Numbness was perhaps better than feeling all of those things at once, but Moses' expression made him want to feel for once. Something good instead of all the bad that he had been forced to feel in the lab.
"It doesn't matter. It was the past." Vanitas dismissed.
But what had become of him shaped Vanitas as a whole. It's why he strung Grey Dawn along before giving them a poison for humans instead. He wanted to make humans suffer for what had happened to him.
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Post by Deleted on Feb 28, 2018 19:21:26 GMT
"But it should matter. It's a big deal what happened. It shouldn't have continued for as long as it did and I'm sorry that it happened anyway" Vanitas once again seemed apathetic to his surroundings and Moses suddenly wanted to desecrate all the graves of those responsible. If they hadn't hurt him, Van would have lived a very different life. He'd have been happy and actually be able to feel emotions. So Moses hugged Vanitas to get over his own anger and grief for his boyfriend. "It doesn't matter if you weren't loved before, you are now" he said fiercely. "You're mine and I'll be damned if someone takes you from me"
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