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Post by Deleted on Mar 3, 2018 2:50:49 GMT
"But I am happy. I just...I like it when you say I'm important" Moses beamed at him. He felt insanely happy from the good turns in his day. "Some one like me? I'm not all that good" he'd done a lot wrong, insensitive and cruel in his years. Sure, he acted as good and upstanding as he could now, but that didn't mean the urge to destroy and kill and hurt weren't there. It didn't mean his love for toxic things was gone either. It just meant he had better control of them now, and knew better when to let out his darker nature and when to suppress it. "I'm not a saint, Vanitas. I'm just...half human"
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Post by skyeknight on Mar 3, 2018 18:53:32 GMT
Vanitas shifted uncomfortably in his spot. He didn't normally do sentimentality. He didn't know how such simple words would make him happy. But he wasn't about to argue. Moses was pleased.
"Except despite me being cruel, you trusted me," Vanitas said.
Moses had every opportunity to run for the hills when he saw Vanitas coming. Had every chance to turn him in. Yes he was toxic, but logic didn't exactly follow. Vanitas was a murderer. He could have turned on Moses at any point, tallying him up as another one of his victims. He likely would have died in a police shootout with that whole 'hostage' situation as well seeing as Moses was the one to talk him down.
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Post by Deleted on Mar 4, 2018 3:26:30 GMT
Moses shook his head. "I acted on a feeling" he said simply. A feeling in his gut and pity, but he wasn't about to tell Vanitas that. Vanitas hated pity. "I didn't trust you though. Not at first. But you changed my mind, by being surprisingly well-mannered, thoughtful and protective at random moments. It made me believe there was at least a little good in you" he reached up and patted Vanitas on the shoulder. "You make me happy, for some odd and unexplainable reason. I enjoy your company, challenging as you are. I mean it, I love you. And love is irrational"
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Post by skyeknight on Mar 4, 2018 3:40:36 GMT
Vanitas wrinkled his nose. Him? Well-mannered and thoughtful? That had to be Moses reading too much into his actions. Truly, it had to be. And he wasn't protective. It was possessiveness. Naturally. Granted, he had been waging a war within himself trying to explain his illogical actions. Because he didn't know what exactly he was doing. Not with Moses. He didn't even get time away from Moses to think about where exactly things with Moses were going. He laid back against the bed, picking up a pillow.
"I'm just going to smother myself," he sighed. "Thanks."
The pillow then went over his head as if to truly go through with the act.
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Post by Deleted on Mar 4, 2018 4:07:59 GMT
"Oh no you don't" laughing Moses got up and pulled the pillow away from Van's face. He peered down into his lover's face. "Did I make you embarrassed, Van? I didn't mean to" he chuckled a little and leaned down to kiss Vanitas like he was some sort of sleeping beauty. "You're the most beautiful boy I know, Van" he said. "And that's not just skin deep I don't think. There's something more"
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Post by skyeknight on Mar 4, 2018 4:22:42 GMT
He could feel it - the different myriad of emotions - tickling at the edges of his awareness. They were gone just as quickly despite his attempt to hold onto them. That was... frustrating. Moses made him want to feel more but he simply did not appear capable of it. Vanitas always complained about Moses' compliments, however, if Moses wasn't slinging compliments at Vanitas, it didn't sit right. He wouldn't be Moses if he wasn't saying something that Vanitas wasn't used to.
"You're ridiculous," Vanitas complained, "You're looking for stuff that isn't there."
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Post by Deleted on Mar 4, 2018 19:52:41 GMT
"Maybe, but I don't think so" Moses said with a gentle smile. "I know there's more good in you than you think" he went and sat down next to Vanitas again. "I think you're a great person, deep down. You just need the right push in the right direction" he leaned in to kiss Vanitas on the cheek. "You're improving, little by little Vanitas. Thank you"
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Post by skyeknight on Mar 5, 2018 0:20:58 GMT
Vanitas frowned. He didn't even know if he wanted to be good. The whole thing left him conflicted. He didn't even know the first thing about being good. Or how to do it. Yet Moses said he was getting better at it day to day. He loathed that his enemies called him weak for trying to change for Moses. He wanted to make them suffer for even suggesting such a thing.
"But I don't know how," he said.
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Post by Deleted on Mar 5, 2018 23:25:39 GMT
"How what? To be good, or what?" Moses asked, confused by the statement. He shook his head. "Goodness finds it's way into everything, sooner or later. Look at this city, there's so much evil in it, but you still can find flashes of good going on. Kids being doted on by parents, a man giving twenty bucks to a homeless guy. someone defending a woman from getting attacked, or a man getting attacked" he nudged his lover slightly at that and nodded. "You can't escape the sheer good that exists. A heart is not made of darkness, it's made of light"
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Post by skyeknight on Mar 6, 2018 16:36:47 GMT
Vanitas frowned. He would never do any of those things. There was nothing in it for him to do any of those things, let alone for strangers. He didn't know how Moses could see those acts as 'goodness' when he saw them as stupidity. Then there were people out there who said that he was going soft for listening to Moses. He was at a loss for what to do. He couldn't sort out his emotions because they were fleeting. He couldn't figure out his thoughts because they were jumbled. He couldn't find his place in all this when he didn't know where he was in the grand scheme of things in the first place.
"It... pisses me off," Vanitas tried explaining, "When people are insinuating I'm not like I was. That I'm weak."
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Post by Deleted on Mar 6, 2018 17:44:21 GMT
"It's not a weakness to want to be good" said Moses almost angrily. "What do they know? They've never felt the warmth of kindness when they are at their lowest point. What do they know?" he shook his head, feeling worked up. This just confirmed Van was leaving the basement when he was gone, and talking to bad sorts who were calling him weak. Moses felt like shaking Vanitas. Did he not get that he was a wanted criminal? That he was doing something incredibly stupid by leaving? Moses took a deep breath to cool down. "Van," he said slowly. "You're stronger now because you have support. Me. And maybe a few others I don't know" Possibly Cruella, but he wasn't sure how their relationship was. "You have someone who loves you and gives a damn about you. Don't listen to those idiots, I bet they never had someone to rely on"
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Post by skyeknight on Mar 6, 2018 18:12:48 GMT
"Only I've never had that before!" Vanitas retorted.
He maybe shouldn't have said what he did. Moses was probably steamed he left, but he honestly couldn't stayed hidden away forever. Even he wanted light and air aside from the musty basement. He literally spent hours upon hours twiddling his thumbs waiting for Moses to come up with a plan. It was like prison itself. Moses meant well. He was truly trying to help and Vanitas wasn't sure what to do about that. He wasn't sure how he should feel, particularly when he didn't know what he was feeling.
"I'm trying to understand all of this but it just doesn't click! I want to."
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Post by Deleted on Mar 6, 2018 23:56:46 GMT
Moses sighed. "We're going in circles. You have it now so don't listen to them" Moses sighed and took Van's hand in his own. "I'll help you figure it out. We'll get a better place, I'll get a better job, and we'll figure out how to help you feel things. Together, okay? I know it's going to be hard but you have to have faith. In you, in me, in us, in the people who are trying to help. We'll get it going"
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Post by skyeknight on Mar 7, 2018 20:34:50 GMT
Vanitas sighed. Moses was right. He was going in circles. His own confusion was working against him. When Moses said they would help him 'feel things' Vanitas' mind drifted to the sample of Sapien he had. It was just like the one from the labs he told Moses about and he would spend one night as a human. He shook that aside because now was not the time for that. He gripped Moses' hand like a life line. If he let go he was sure to be rocked away by unwanted thoughts.
"I'll try," he said softly.
It was the best he could assure Moses. He would try to trust him more, try to be more open, try to be 'good' and try to feel more. He couldn't promise that he would because he didn't know how to do it even with Moses' coaxing. He would try not to let what the others say get to him, but he was still quick to anger and venomous to anyone who showed him any sign of disrespect.
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Post by Deleted on Mar 7, 2018 23:08:35 GMT
Moses smiled. "I know" he said softly in return. He looked around. "I'm going to try for that modeling gig to get you out of here as fast as possible, okay? You'll see the sun again I promise you" Moses had a good feeling that everything would be alright if they just kept going. If he took this job and got a bigger apartment with big windows to let in sun, Vanitas would surely be happier.
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